Countdown has begun to the end of 2011 and it is not a cheery time. Although with developments in Europe the markets are steadying, Christine Lagarde’s dire warning of a lost decade looms large.
It is a worry that those who are “running the world” somehow appear incapable of running a department, never mind leading economies. With Silvio out the door and hopes pegged on super Mario time will tell if the technocrats deal better than, well, “colourful personalities.”
At a corporate level in UK last week the media baron James Murdoch was back in the hot seat being questioned further on the misdeeds at News of the World. His defence seems to rest on “knowing nothing” despite settling a £700,000 out of court payment. A readers’ comment in a BBC online news article concludes. “…here is the solution for all the UK's problem. We draw up a cheque - for the ENTIRE national debt, then all we need to do is get it presented to James Murdoch. Apparently he sign's [sic] large cheques without even bothering to look at what they’re for.”
I continue to wonder what the finance team were doing.
During the Murdoch hearings MP Louise Mensch has won a fair bit of limelight. Ms Mensch, in a previous life, was a best-selling romantic novelist. Purely, and very reluctantly, in the name of research I read one (from the CIMA staff library no less). There was an upside to this painful task - featured in 'When she was bad' is a highly ethical finance professional, with lessons to share.
So in order to brighten your November, and to those in midst of revision to focus your minds for exams, here they are:
The dastardly dashing ex-lover of the heroine, a US heiress called Becky, has kept her away from the day to day running of her UK business which he has been managing. With suspicions high she drops in on HQ and finds herself in an office marked “accounting” and face to face with VP of accounting Ken Stone. To Beccy’s surprise, Mr Stone is calmly expecting to be fired. But why?
“Your family in general doesn’t like the way I keep the books.”
“And how is that?”
“Accurately” Stone said. “I have given the board repeated warnings... I have been told to change the presentation of the accounts to fit the new company policies, and to reflect the new orders that he has brought in. I have of course refused to do that."
Hmmm – well new orders sound good to me, but Becky is on the case.
“What about all the new orders?”
“They are brought in with deferred payments. We undercut the competition to get those orders, and we are operating with a razor slim margin. The amount of money spent on “public relations” is ludicrous. Wages are high, strikes are frequent, productivity is down, and the overheads grow every day.”
Well there you have it: a case study for my Hot Potato column. You’ll be pleased to hear that despite the extravagant furnishings in the rest of HQ, Stone keeps his office modest and is dumbfounded that they don’t relocate from a vanity London HQ to Yorkshire where they have empty real estate.
His honesty is rewarded and with immediate effect Stone is promoted to CFO and the board. The firm relocates and embarks on a series of cost cutting. The following tips may come in useful to those out there worrying about the largesse of their colleagues.
“the long, boozy lunches in smoky city of London wine bars had been trimmed from the expense accounts of the men that had stayed, and when perks like company cars were suddenly tied to performance, there was a fresh round of resignations. Becky was glad. It saved Ken and her rom having to fire more executives, which, despite them being bad at their jobs, overpaid and underworked, was still the part her the business she liked least.”
Performance management in chick lit. I can picture his scorecard - was he a CIMA member? However, to those curious romantic readers out there, sadly, but rightly, they don’t become an item. Mr Stone’s integrity is such that he upholds professional behavior at all times, ensuring there is no conflict of interest in work relationships, and insists on calling his new boss Miss Lancaster.
Most of the company is ultimately sold except for a small hotel chain. Mr Stone turns down the offer of working for the company’s acquirer and instead opts for a directorship at one of the Big Four. You’ll have to read the book to find out which one and what happens to Becky. It involves a gardener.
Perhaps Mr Murdoch (and indeed a few governments) would be well advised to hire a Mr or Ms Stone. And listen to them.
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